Happy New Year!



The New Year is upon us! I would do an introspective post, challenging myself to look deeper within in an attempt to see how I've changed (or failed to) in the past year, but that just doesn't seem fun at the moment. Instead, I'll opt to do a list of my Favorites of 2009.

Favorite book:
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Out of all the books I read this year, this one has managed to stick with me. Murakami is truly a prolific author with his incredibly vivid descriptions and ethereal characters. I'm only two hundred or so pages into Kafka on the Shore -- is it possible to name someone your favorite author after a book and how ever many pages?

Favorite new band discovery:
Oddly enough, their name is Discovery. An amalgam of Vampire Weekend and Ra Ra Riot, this band has found a way into my heart after one listen-through of "Osaka Loop Line." It's an instant favorite. On second thought, since I'm conflicted with choosing between fun. and Discovery, I'll list both.

Favorite new TV show:
Easily Community. While The Office has hilarious intros, Community never fails to impress with its outros. The Spanish Rap with Abed and Troy is my favorite to date. I was wary of seeing this when the first promo commercials were shown and I'm glad I gave it a chance because it brings the LOLs. Oh, and Modern Family is a very close second.

Favorite movie:
(500) Days of Summer. The relatable plot, the local haunts featured such as Point Fermin Park and Bunker Hill, Joseph Gordon-Levitt's heart-warming smile, Zooey Deschanel's amazing wardrobe and the soundtrack -- what's not to love?

Favorite adventure:
Going down to Santa Monica Pier and Venice Beach late into the night with friends, laying a few towels down and catching up. While that was nice on its own, the addition of lighting sparklers and having a mini rave on the sand brought the night up a few notches. We're a fun group.

Favorite revived friendship:
Definitely Anthony. We've hardly had any downs in our four year friendship, but we drifted far away from one another after I graduated. A friendship only to be brought back a hundred-fold the past few weeks. He was saved this past summer and never in a million years did we think that our friendship would turn into fellowship, but it has. He took me to his church on Tuesday, hence my happy tweet from that evening. I'm blessed to have him in my life.

Favorite social networking site:
Sorry, Blogspot, but Tumblr has stolen my heart when it comes to short bursts of writing, inspiring photos and new bands to come across.

As an afterthought, add the following to your dance party playlists for tonight! It's an amazing mash-up of Billboard's Top 25 hits of this year.

I'm running out of time, so I'll have to cut this short. Tonight will be low-key and will be spent with a few lovely people -- my kind of evening. Hope everyone has a blessed New Year! Have fun. Get crunk. And make resolutions that you'll forget in a few weeks. Cheers.

Smoke.

You draw in your breath, allowing the toxins to fill your lungs. The repercussions? Untold. Wavering. You exhale the wispy smoke, which dissipates into oblivion, while the faint smell of tobacco lingers on your clothing. Why must you do this in my presence? You know I thoroughly despise secondhand smoke. I whine, whinge, complain constantly and a smug smile finds its way upon your lips. A dagger would do wonders, if you felt no remorse in killing.

I've been going through old files and sketchbooks long forgotten in an attempt to find more of my quote, unquote creative writing. It's terribly written, but my love for the photo (Andy from I See Stars) called for a post. This was written after an outdoor Starbucks session with my best friend, whom I've been trying to convince to stop smoking. My efforts are futile, though; this vice has an unrelenting hold on him.

A Not-So-Serious Post (except for the end).

My one rule on the 1nt3rw3bZ when it comes to links in "About Me" sections: not to leave one for my blog and Tumblr (basically anything involving writing) on other sites. For example, my Last.fm, Twitter, YouTube and Flickr pages don't have click-through links to them. But if you somehow stumble upon my blog and Tumblr, you have access to, well, pretty much everything.

There's a reason why only two of my real life friends know about this blog. I don't mind strangers having access to my posts, but I get a crazy, almost overwhelming feeling that people I know are overstepping some kind of boundary when they read my personal thoughts. But maybe I'M just crazy. And possessive.

Well, I've been found. I woke up from a night of glorious, glorious sleep to find an email on my Blackberry: "_____ started following you. Win! Love, TumblrBot." No. NO. NOOOOOO! I know I'm not at all creative when it comes to creating link names (they're all some form of "marianney") but still! What prompted him to type it into Tumblr when I have no links to it anywhere?! It's really kind of creepy if you think about it. Anyway, my last Tumblr post was addressed to him and said something along the lines of: "Please unfollow me. Ktnxbai." in hopes that it will prevent our mutual friends from adding me as well. Sigh, I don't like this.
-----------------------------------------------

I have a favor to ask of you. Yes, you, reading this.

My friend (read: Hug post) texted me last night saying he got a call-back from his Santa Clara Vanguard snare line auditions! That's one hurdle out of the way. Please, send positive thoughts for him for the next couple of weeks. Maybe I'm biased, but he truly deserves a spot on that line! I'm not exaggerating when I say that every free moment of his life is spent drumming in preparation for next summer, his age-out year. So, please, send positive thoughts. Rub a rabbit's foot. Wish on shooting stars. Throw a coin in the fountain for him. He deserves this. And it'd be the best feeling in the world to see him decked out in uniform, pouring his heart out on the field and hopefully winning a championship ring in the process.

Also, I realize there is a clear overuse of parentheses in this post. I am therefore forbidden to use them in future entries. Fin.

Gershwin and the Drunk Concert Master.



I was watching an episode of Skins when this classical piece in the background piqued my interest. I knew I had heard it before, but I couldn't pinpoint the exact composer and title. Minutes went by as I scoured my brain for the information that I could recall with such ease during my Symphonic Orchestra years. A sense of relief washed over me as I remembered Gershwin's "Rhapsody In Blue". It was honestly pissing me off that I couldn't figure it out. Does that ever happen to anyone? You know you've heard something before, but can't think of who sang/played it? It's simpler with lyrical songs because you can easily pull up Google and search for the words in the song. Needless to say, I miss being part of an orchestra. That sense of unity between you and your peers as you perform on stage with the warm lights beaming down on you. Such good times.

Again, another instance where music brought me back to a memory. I remember this one performance where our concert master, a rebellious violin virtuoso forced to be a part of the music program because of his strict parents, showed up absolutely hammered. Well, scratch that. He was drinking in the empty music room while the other groups performed, as a great big "F--- YOU!" to his parents and as a makeshift tribute to his Russian heritage. When it was our turn to take the stage, he casually strolled up to the front and took his place on the podium to tune the orchestra. I wish I could say something tragic and hilarious occurred because of his drunken stupor, I really do. But all that happened was him swaying to and fro in front of a full audience, with a big, stupid grin plastered on his flushed face. I remember thinking what a fantastic way to end my senior year, were he to fall off the podium and cause a scene. (Haha, I'm horrible.) Amidst all the incredulous murmurs and whispering among us during the tuning session, our music director had absolutely no idea what was happening. I don't condone underage drinking, but honestly... it was the best. It's my second most treasured performance experience, with sneaking on the roof in our concert dress as number one.

Sigh, I really do miss it. Maybe I should get over my fear of auditioning and just do it! Life's too short for could-a, would-a, should-a. Right?

Passion Pit.

I observed/realized/was reminded of several things as Kelsea and I gallivanted through Hollywood yesterday for the Passion Pit taping at Jimmy Kimmel.
  • Contrary to popular belief, hipster kids don't just stand and feign boredom at shows; they actually dance and sing along! It was probably a rare occurrence in the hipster world because, let's face it, Passion Pit is the only band in the world to elicit such a response. They are that amazing live. What was once a stand-around-and-wait-while-keeping-aloof crowd became a dance party in a matter of seconds.
  • There are some people from your high school years who will never grow up. They will still find pleasure in gossiping and making other people's lives absolutely miserable. You'll also run into them at random shows because, heck, it's a small world after all.
  • Pee-wee Herman still creeps me out after all these years. Straight up. It was the most awkward thing to witness as he did his interview with Kimmel completely in character.
  • Famima!! is (in my humble opinion) the best convenience store to ever exist. Where else can you find Bawls, Ramune, Hi-chews, Mochi and Beard Papa's under one roof? I miss having one in my town.
  • I will never be able to live in a city where it snows. It was a mere 50°F last night and I could barely move. You people living in winter wonderlands must be laughing right about now. In my defense, the wind chill was crazy cold.
  • Friends that you meet through church are Forever Friends. Enough said.




Now for a video! My favorite part was when everyone chimed in during the first "higher and higher and higher" part of the Little Secrets chorus. It sent chills down my spine, that feeling of unity in a crowd of strangers. Then again, it simply could've been because of the chill in the air. Ha.


My only gripe about last night was their three song limit. They played The Reeling and their single, Sleepyhead, in addition to the televised Little Secrets and promptly said their goodbyes, much to the dismay of the audience. Our shouts for an encore were ignored, but honestly, it wasn't bad for a free show. A good time was had by all and it's safe to say my no-show-streak is over.

Cadence.

You make your way on stage, each step heavier than the last. The nerves, so tangible, accented by the mild tremors of your cold, cold hands. You shake it off as you reach the microphone. Center stage: where you belong. The bright lights shine down as you scan the audience for a familiar face and a sense of calm washes over you as we make eye contact. An encouraging smile, camcorder in hand, the white of the screen highlighting my face in the sea of shadows. Meager applause follows your introduction, but you brave through it without so much as a second thought. The beat crescendos through the stale air and you fall into it and you're up and you're out and your caged words and rhymes escape. Layer upon layer of preconceived notions are stripped away until you're all that's left, if only for a brief moment. The song ends, but your time in the spotlight's only beginning; the applause is deafening.

I must confess. This brief acquaintance resulted in playing Russian Roulette with your playlists.


I don't want to intimidate, I want to inspire.

An Open Letter.

Dear Berkeley,

Perhaps "Hercules, California" might be a more accurate location? I won't hesitate to shoot you a message here because I know you still read this blog, though we've failed to make any sort of real communication the past few months. I had a dream about you a few days ago, one that involved us being in the same classroom, oddly enough. You were seated directly behind me and while we surely recognized one another, we didn't acknowledge it aside from a knowing glance upon my turning around. You then asked to borrow the grey cardigan in my purse because the room was freezing. (Though, now that I think of it, I'm not really sure why I wasn't wearing it in the first place; I need sweaters and scarves galore when temperatures hit low 70's.) Odd, don't you think? Maybe this dream was brought on by the low air fares Southwest Airlines was offering a few weeks ago? I think it was $25 one-way to San Francisco or something. Anyway, hope things have improved marginally for you since the last time we spoke. I'm sure they have. Keep on keeping on, you hear?

Dreaming of a Nick and Norah inspired adventure,
Glendale.

PS. TDAGARIM, also.
PPS. I bet you're going to be beyond disappointed after perusing this letter. Told you it wasn't anything to look forward to.

Doe-eyed.

You wish with all your might for your saving grace, one that will care for you and complement you perfectly. The girl that will cause you to be the envy of every solitary being you come across because of your untainted and everlasting love. But when opportunity presents itself in a form of a doe-eyed girl with a heart of gold, you dismiss it without reason. Tears cloud her vision, until the background lights sparkle and blend in with a subtle bokeh effect. In her perfect world, you'd wipe her worries away, gently tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead with a fervent passion only you two can comprehend. Flighty fancies fall by the wayside and reality is all she's left with once more.

Vincent Thomas Bridge.

Andrew called the other day and left a message saying that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named asked about me. (Yes, Lord Voldemort.) I'm sure he asked in passing, in a nonchalant "by the way, how's Marianne?" kind of manner. Truth: I was perfectly fine with keeping him out of my life. In fact, he hasn't invaded my thoughts in over six months, except for the random text a few weeks ago when he asked me to go to his show in Hollywood. But even then, it didn't faze me and I brushed it off with ease.

For some reason, Andrew's voicemail hit me hard. Of course it was only for a moment, but it was one highlighted with tears welling up in my eyes. I fell into a daze, knee-deep in memories of him and what we used to be. Strolling along the lighthouse at Point Fermin Park. Stealing kisses at our cliff overlooking the most spectacular sunsets. Making silly faces at the jellyfish in the aquarium. I missed him. But only for a moment. My lapse of judgment lasted a mere ten seconds at most and I shook myself out of it just as quickly. I'm better and relatively more breakdown-free without such a toxic being in my life. I know it. Our relationship, no matter how dysfunctional, had its good moments, but the past is the past and that's where it shall stay.

2S to the 5S to 110S. Sorry, but the bridge is broken. I know the phrase is "burned bridge," but you can't really burn a metal bridge no matter how long you hold the match to it, can you?
PS. Embarrassing face-palm moment the other day when I left a comment on someone's blog that it wasn't meant for. I deleted it. Without an apology. Because I was so freaked out. The blog names were just oh-so similar! Shoot me.

Honest Scrap Award.

Thanks to Brent for giving me my very first award on Blogger! I was thrilled and had to do a double-take upon receipt. Similar to him, I, too, have no clue as to what the "scrap" part in "Honest Scrap" alludes to. Are we trash? Rubbish? Made to recycle? No idea. Let's move on, shall we?


The Rules of the Award
1) Thank the person who gave the award and list their blog and link it.
2) Share "10 Honest Things" about yourself.
3) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
4) Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

10 Honest Things About Myself
1. Whenever I'm in a car that runs a yellow light, I always tap the ceiling twice. My friends will literally punch the ceiling, leaving dents, if they accidentally go through a red light. Sometimes, I think they do it intentionally for anger-relieving purposes.
2. I'm inspired by the artistic gems in the Tumblr, Etsy and Vimeo communities. And because of it, I want an infinite amount of pretty yarn, a sewing machine and a Nikon DSLR to film and take photos with.
3. I fall into ruts pretty often and find myself clawing at the sides with no luck. During these brief points in time, I'll ignore all phone calls and most texts, neglect any form of creativity and wallow in self-pity. It's a terrible habit, really.
4. You know that song by Landon Pigg? The one where he talks about coffee shops and falling in love? I really do believe book stores are the way to go. Strike up a convo! There's some literary romance to be had.
5. People constantly mistake me for being sixteen or seventeen-years-old. I'll pretend to be annoyed at the time, but secretly revel in the thought that I won't have to worry about looking old when I'm middle-aged. Boo-yah.
6. My favorite sound in the whole wide world? Drum sticks clicking and/or keeping time. If you read through enough of my blog entries, you'll come to realize that I am a self-proclaimed band geek and darn proud of it.
7. I'm nearing my one-year-mark without going to a single show. It's unprecedented, really. Ever since Warped Tour 2006, I've constantly gone to shows/concerts/festivals, sometimes averaging five in a month. But with this darn economy and no cash to shell out, I've learned to stop skimming through event calendars.
8. There's a video somewhere on YouTube where I'm singing "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" in a faux Korean accent with my hair up in pigtails. It was for a church presentation and no, I won't link you. :]
9. The end of tenth grade was marked by two months in the hospital because of my heart surgery. My friendship with the nurses allowed for my buddies to stay well past visiting hours. I also made good friends with the little boy next door. We'd have wheelchair races up and down the hallway and tell one another secrets. I've lost touch with him and sincerely hope he's okay.
10. I believe people are intrinsically good and I think you're lovely. Yes, you, person reading this. You deserve the best this world has to offer and you shouldn't settle for less. I mean it from the depths of my little heart. <3

My Seven Bloggers:
1. Geoh. Andrew is the only real life friend that knows I keep a blog online. This producer is amazing at what he does.
2. your wishcake. Kerri's a doll, with entertaining posts that are filled with humor and are super easy to relate to.
3. m.writes. Marta's blog, filled with the cutest anecdotes of her family, her impeccable calligraphy and inspiring quotes, is simply amazing.
4. Sherbet Blossom. Hannah has the best links when it comes to crafting and I heart her blog dearly because of it. Also, she's the sweetest mommy with the cutest kids. Her love for her family fills my heart with joy.
5. Lisa's Likes. She's fashionable, cute and spunky. Plus, I love her recipe posts with step-by-step photos.
6. Wunderbug. Courtney's adventures are so much fun to read about. Also, who can resist mini apple and pumpkin pies?
7. Stephanie Amber. Her love for God inspires me to be a better Christian. Her testimonies are powerful, yet easily relatable, and stirs up something in my heart. Plus, our Bibles are both pink.

Each blogger has inspired me in one way or another: to be a better writer, to be more crafty, to try new things. Collectively, they've inspired me to be a better person. Their positive outlook on life shines through in each and every post and I'll take this time to say, "Thank you."

Brent: I would have chosen you as one of my seven bloggers, but I think writing an Honest Scraps blog three times is borderline overkill. If you're up to the challenge, though, go for it!

A Happy List.

Things I've been obsessing over recently:
- Skins. Maybe it's the charming Bristol accent or the witty, fast-paced dialogue. Or because Degrassi has been in a downward spiral for the past few seasons that it has stopped quenching my thirst for juicy, so-bad-it's-good teen drama. Either way, I'm hooked.

- Demi Lovato. No, wait. Before I stab myself in the eye with the nearest pencil for mentioning a Disney star that teeny-boppers adore, let me rephrase that: her upbeat music. It's a far cry from what I normally listen to, but it's really nice that her tunes provide a way for my little sister and I to connect. I'll learn the songs on guitar, while she sings along. It's an all-around good time.
- Left-over / discount Halloween candy from Target the days following October 31st. At least the candy I'm consuming can be considered somewhat Christmas-y, with its minty interior and dark chocolate shell. Mmmm, melt-in-your-mouth goodness.
- Going along with the topic of food, I'll mention the holy grail of Mexican restaurants, Taco Azteca. I've been blessed to live in Southern California where legit Mexican food can be found with relative ease. No, Taco Bell, Del Taco (Bell Del?) don't count. Fish tacos and an horchata to wash it all down? Count me in.
- Perfect penmanship. London boy wrote to me a few weeks ago and I still can't get over his cursive. I couldn't help but swoon as I read the contents of his letter and the meticulous detail of every swirl and curve of each letter was the icing on the cake. Tyler, or as I affectionately call him "Cesure", has an amazing way with words and deserves a post of his own. Watch for it.
- Vintage luggage. The prospect of travel appeals to me so, so much.

I'm trying to trick myself into being in a better state of mind. Not really sure if it's working so far... In any case, what happy things have consumed your thoughts lately, dear reader?

Update: Two of the bloggers I'm following - TWO - were proposed to this week! (oh,hellofriend and whatiwore). If these things don't belong in a happy list, then I don't know what does. It's all so amazing and fills my little heart with so much joy. And to think, I don't even know these ladies in real life! Cuh-razy, I tell ya.

Miniscule.

I cannot even begin to fathom how small I am in the grand scheme of things. It's similar to the feeling that overcomes you as you rest in an open field and gaze at the twinkling celestial bodies in the vast night sky. It's an overwhelming and all-consuming feeling, one that goes right down to your core and has the power to render you useless. That's life at the moment - except I don't have the comfort of a loved one at my side, holding my hand and shielding me from the horrors of the night. At least then, I would know that everything will be alright. Where do we go from here? And why are we doing this? For the adventure. For the impossibility.
I promise to write (you) each day.

Yeah.

I'm sure that unspoken sentiments floated between us as we took our final stroll those weeks ago. Maybe it was the re-emergence of his elusive ex-girlfriend, whom he's still in love with, that caused our strange falling out. Either way, I've lost his friendship and all the inspiration that it brought along. I feel like crawling into a hole. Or better yet, into a deep well with a baseball bat to keep me company, while a blue-black mark makes its home on my cheek. References to The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle? Win. God, that book. So compelling, so odd and dream-like. I'm nearing the final chapters and am actually saddened that it's coming to a close. Normally, it takes fifty or so pages for me to get sucked into a novel, but Murakami must have laced each beautifully written page with cocaine because I was hooked within the first chapter, as short as it was. And to think the mystery surrounding the lost cat is probably the most normal part of the novel! Ha. I'm thoroughly enjoying today's cooler temperatures, after the summer-like sauna we were blessed to have the past few days. This is wishful thinking at its best, but I'm hoping this weather stays for the duration of fall. Please, please, please, let me get what I want this time. Yes, The Smiths. It's astounding how fast this year's flying by, though. How is it November already? Pretty soon, the holidays will have passed, only to bring about the normalcy of the beginning months of the new year.

I suppose this is a true stream-of-consciousness. Unedited and arbitrary musings by yours truly. Adieu, for now. Hope this message finds you well in your part of the world.

Wordless Wednesday.

(Almost.) The I'm-too-lazy-to-lug-around-a-camera-so-a-Blackberry-will-have-to-suffice edition. I sacrificed quality for convenience. Apologies.

Uphill jog. Pumpkin patch. Starbucks. Regina Spektor's "Us." View. Downtown.


I have been lacking inspiration to do anything "creative" lately. My guitar's gathering dust, along with my sketchbook and watercolors, I haven't picked up my crochet needle in weeks and my writing has gone off the deep end. Honestly, there's a proverbial tumbleweed blowing around my mind at the moment. Which brings me to this post that shouldn't even be considered a real post because of the lack of substance. :]

Random.

The past seven months have paved way to an unconventional friendship, its roots stemming from an "I love your writing style. Can't wait to read more of your work!" message on Xanga. We've been shooting messages back and forth since then and learning about one another and I believe there's a very real possibility this London boy knows more random facts about me than my real life friends. But I digress. Each message is structured as follows: commentary about the previous message, a reply to answers and a list of questions the other must respond to. One of the questions in his past message told me to ask three friends what a person should know before they meet me. I asked a few friends, whose responses made me smile and made for a good pick-me-up.

My favorites:
1. She likes to act tough and start little fights. Truth is, she couldn't hurt a fly.
2. She loves John Mayer (especially Continuum) because it reminds her of fall of senior year when life was simple. She also likes Paramore who, for her protection, killed a vicious butterfly and put it on the cover of their latest release.
3. She loves to read while sipping on a grande iced coffee with white mocha.
4. Marianne likes to go on random walks and geocaching adventures at night.
5. Too many people have tried to hurt her, but have never succeeded. She is too strong for that.
6. "Awkward" silences aren't awkward to her. If you're having a serious talk with Marianne and she's quiet, don't freak out. It just means she's thinking about what you just said, lost in her own little world.

GeOh (who has an advantage because he reads my blog) says:
1. You're a fierce friend once someone reaches that point, but due to past events, you keep your heart guarded, from new friendships and new love.
2. Music flows through your veins. More specifically, Mae's the everglow.
3. You can't handle another heartbreak. By the looks of things, that one might end you. Handle with care.
4. You are in DIRE need of a good adventure once in a while.
5. Creativity appeals to you, in any shape or form. Some fucktard off the street can come up to you, and while you reach for your mace, completely disarm you by saying, "I can shit the Eiffel Tower in 1/56th of a scale. Wanna see?" Okay, maybe not THAT. But throw a good Palahniuk quote your way, and it's game over.

Yeah, I don't know what was going through his mind when he wrote that somewhat offensive blurb about the Eiffel Tower. And if you didn't know already, I'm deathly afraid of butterflies, a fact everyone seems to enjoy throwing in my face once in a while. My friends are the greatest.

Because of a 3am attack from insomnia last night, I found myself on the 20 Something Bloggers community. I ended up creating an account for it, most likely because my impulsivity reaches its peak when sleep deprivation is also, coincidentally, at its highest. Seems like a promising and reliable Yellow Pages of sorts, but we'll see how that goes.

Just finishing up my current read, Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins, which I despised at first because it felt like every subject he touched upon was so arbitrary. Talks of aliens from the planet Argon, conspiracy theories regarding red heads, and a thorough analysis of a package of Camel cigarettes somehow tie into a love story between an exiled princess and a rebellious outlaw determined to make love stay. I'm nearing the end, though, and everything seems to tie together nicely. By the way, the book's description of being an adult fairytale is relatively accurate. You've been warned.

What else, what else. The weather! It was lovely and rainy and oh-so comfortable the past few days. But like anything in life, it's rudely taken away without so much as a second thought as soon as you find yourself getting lost in it. We're expecting temperatures in the high 90s for tomorrow and Saturday. Mother Nature, it's autumn, won't you please ease up and give us a break? It'll be greatly appreciated.

/random_update.

PS. The elusive Tea Not War that I rambled on about in the Google Reader subs post has been found under a new pseudonym. Despite me sounding like an absolute creeper, I'll go ahead and say that this calls for a happy dance.

Hug.

This is terribly written with scattered thoughts and even more scattered emotions. However, I have to try and get this written down before it makes its graceful exit from my mind... though I'll be honest and say that the chances of that happening are slim. Slim, I tell ya.

Have you ever been faced with a situation in which you find yourself extremely close to losing someone? Not in a broken friendship kind of way, but something you learn that makes you realize how terribly lucky you are to have that person in your life? Finding out something new about them that makes something in you -click- and realize that there was one moment where they could have been taken away from you. One moment so vital that if it never happened, your paths wouldn't have crossed, leaving you without the most profound friendship of your life?

He's told me the story before, but the impact this time around was long-lasting. I just sat there on his right, on our favorite bench during our favorite time of night, frozen and speechless. I took one short, fleeting glance at him but everything from that moment can be recalled perfectly if I just close my eyes for a second. Maybe it was the way the moonlight gently illuminated his face. The way his new haircut was still in that awkward stage before it had a chance to finally settle. Or the way his black button-down shirt, dark jeans and dress shoes just fit so perfectly with the pronounced blacks and greys of the night. He was staring straight ahead at the muted yellows of the playground when I broke though the silence and a meek whisper escaped my lips, "I just need a hug." We made eye contact, he held me and I cried.

Seconds turned into minutes and the vexatious ring tone that startled us countered the soothing comfort from his warm embrace. We walked back to my street, holding hands and allowed the silence to swallow us once more.

This week, I...

- took my anger out on a very lovely person, whom I'm currently making amends to by writing a super heart-felt letter.
- went on my first geocaching adventure. If you haven't tried it or heard of it before, please do so now! I'm positive there are some caches hidden in your very neighborhood because that was the case with me. Such a fun adventure with friends.
- started and finished a YA novel in one day - Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist fame). Granted I'm neither gay nor a boy, but I found myself really connecting with the story. Plus, the love interest reminded me of someone I know. They're both intriguing, mysterious, word-maker-upper, "paint" music on canvas kinds of boys. Le sigh.
- heard some equally terrifying and amusing Drum Corp initiation stories.
- showed restraint by not buying anything from Urban Outfitters.
- finally learned the intro to "Laser Speed" by Between the Buried and Me on acoustic guitar.
- completely skipped fall altogether and went straight to winter by purchasing peppermint herbal tea and listening to Christmas music.

YAY. Happy weekend!
(as inspired by Jasmine on An Experiment in Poverty)

Music & Memories.

I believe that we use music as bookmarks in the great big book of Life. Hearing a song has the power to take us back to one, solitary moment, enabling us to relive it again and again, if we wish to. And the emergence of iPods and mp3 players only makes those memories all the more accessible.

I attempted to create a list of my five favorite albums earlier. My attempt was proven futile when only one came to mind: Mae's "The Everglow". I love this album to pieces. It speaks volumes that this is the only CD I can repeatedly listen to from beginning to end and can still enjoy as if I barely ripped off the plastic cover and annoying security tape hours prior. It wins the title of Favorite Album, hands down.

But back to the topic at hand -- my songs of significance:
- "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. This song very quickly became our bandie anthem. Every time we were out and this came on, we'd stop whatever we were doing to burst out in song, much to the chagrin of onlookers. Or we'd be in the car when it would magically come onto the radio. We'd crank it up and just go all out. Laughing and singing and sharing a memory with one another, ending in a collective sigh as the last chord wafted through the air.
- "Guilty Pleasure" by Cobra Starship. Kelsea, Ben, Julian and I were en route to The Hat in Pasadena when this song came on. The music video has a very fun, very memorable dance scene (if you could even call it that) during the chorus, which we all did. At the same time. Without any previous planning. All while the people in surrounding cars stared, mouths agape at our teenage stupidity. Oh, my goodness. Good times. "If the world is ending, I'm throwing a party!"
- "Tisbury Lane" by Mae. Sheila and I were traipsing through Borders bookstore one day when she had me listen to this and I immediately fell in love. I'm almost positive this was the moment that my obsession with Mae came into fruition. Oh, and don't get me started on the amazing bass line that starts around 2:30ish.
- "To Know Your Name" by Hillsong United. The message is so simple: Jesus loves us so much that He sent His only Son. But it broke me down to the core and touched me in a way I'd never thought possible when I heard it for the first time at church. I'll put it on whenever I need a reminder of His love.
- "Thelma and Louise" by the Horrorpops. It was our friendship to the tee. The lyrics were absolutely perfect. Driving around aimlessly with my best friend, singing along to favorite songs and having that sense of freedom we all crave once in a while. Because we constantly drove around without a set destination in mind, I don't have a specific memory to pin it down to, but I think that adds more to the nostalgia. Fun fact: Patricia Day can often be seen driving her classic car down the streets of Glendale.

Luhrrve it.

Karma.

Hurt and deceit turns into confusion and anger. Sprinkle it with pints of aggression and ambiguous notes written all over social networking sites that I know you'll inevitably come across. Excuses for past behavior float into my mind. Maybe this is all retribution for what I did two years ago. I'm one to give credit when due, though. If the past couple of weeks truly were an attempt at cruel vengeance, well, then I graciously tip my hat to you. For not only have you wounded my pride, you've successfully managed to rip apart something I was so wary to hand over in the first place. Who's left to pick up the pieces? In hindsight, we truly were slow dancing in a burning room.

Karma, I admit defeat.

Outbursts.

Have you realized how many public outbursts there have been recently?

1. During Obama's health care reform address, Joe Wilson blatantly showed a lack of respect by exclaiming, "You lie!".
2. Serena Williams' tirade during the U.S. Open, prompting some not-so-witty newspaper headlines, but still humorous nonetheless. Not So Serene. Serena Goes Ball-istic. She straight up scaressss me. Straight. Up.
3. Kanye strikes again and earns the Douchebag of the Year award. Bar none. At first I thought it was a stunt, but the look on Taylor Swift's face as he took the mic and tainted her first moon man win was just heart-wrenching. Beyoncé remedies the situation by giving Swift her moment, showing such class and elegance.

The Trifecta of Tantrums, ladies and gentlemen. It's ridiculous, but since it's all we've really been hearing about the past two days, I'll take this time to show you the greatest part about the Internet.



It's so well-edited and I ROFLMAO'd when I first saw it.

Also, it's "off-the-record" now, but you cannot deny how freaking amazing our President is. For many reasons, but this statement just tops the cake. Leave it to TMZ to get the audiotape of Obama calling Kanye a jackass. It's golden.

Reunions.

The past few days have been filled with impromptu reunions. This entry will be one of those "this is what I did today" types. I'm merely doing this for posterity's sake, but because of the lack of original posting, I figure this is better than nothing at all. Maybe it's unconventional, but I feel like back-tracking.

Saturday evening was spent with amazing friends and watching "The Holiday". My friend, Anthony, kidnapped my iPod and returned it after adding over two gigs of A Tribe Called Quest, D'Angelo, The RH Factor, Erykah Badu, Common, John Legend, etc. I think this is where my brief stint with the world of hip-hop and R&B will start. To kind of even it out, I introduced him to Between the Buried and Me. I played "Selkies" and the first thing that came out of his mouth was "Holy crap -- the time signatures!"

Yessss. I love having such musically-inclined friends.

We went to a quaint restaurant in Little Tokyo to celebrate a friend's birthday on Friday. Good company, good food and even more amazing memories. I originally had planned on not attending, but I'm glad I went. Hanging out with them always equates to strange adventures.

Popkiller Second at Little Tokyo. Boy in the blue NOFX shirt ended up surprising me with those glasses because I loved them so much, haha. We're a strange bunch, honestly.

Thursday afternoon was spent auditioning the next batch of drumline kids at Wilson Middle School with Dominic. The BFFL, partner-in-crime. We proceeded to go to his house after revealing which student made it and which drum they were to be assigned to. His mom welcomed me with a great big hug and a girl's favorite thing to hear: "You've gained weight!" Thanks for lowering my self-esteem even more. We saw "Yes, Man" (I didn't know Zooey Deschanel was the leading lady!) and went to Starbucks, armed with our drum practice pads and sticks and played in the patio. There were two metal guys in their thirties at the table closest to us. One of their phones kept ringing and I recognized it as Pantera's "Walk" and spoke up about it. They were genuinely surprised that I would recognize the song, much less know that Pantera existed. They probably saw me as a little girl who listened only to mainstream pop (not that there's anything wrong with that!). They're playing a show at the Whisky A Go-Go in November and they offered us free tickets, which was a kind gesture. Met up with another high school friend that same evening and caught up.

Oh gosh, this post is reminiscent of my old Xanga days. Hopefully I'll actually have something of substance the next time around? Yeah, hopefully.

Later days!
You'll score points with me if you know where that comes from, by the way. :P

Sondre Lerche!

A friend pointed me out to him and his music a few weeks ago. If The Carpenters and Jason Mraz had a musical lovechild and the cast of Grease raised him -- that's how I would describe his music. I, for one, think it's a relatively accurate description, haha. Part orchestral pop, part jazz feel, it's absolutely relaxing. His fifth studio album, Heartbeat Radio, comes out today! Buy it! Honestly, it's impossible to turn down Sondre Lerche, those baby blues and that charming croon.
At the very least, watch him in this video. He's so personable and all around lovely, wouldn't you agree? Favorite part: pronouncing his name the "American way" and the heart-melting shrug that ensues because of it around 0:35 and his rendition of "The Word Girl" at the end.

Subs.

After adding some lovely blogs to Google Reader, I came to the realization that I had just under one hundred subscriptions. ONE HUNDRED. How time consuming! However, some of those blogs haven't been written in for a few months, which prompted me to rid my bursting-at-the-seams Google Reader of them.

Some of my favorite blogs are no more, I'm sad to say. The most noteworthy being survivingmyselfblog.com. His posts were witty and intelligent, two characteristics that I consider when browsing for new blogs to read. I remember one of his last posts saying he felt his time spent in the blogosphere, while amazing, has finally come to an end. He strongly felt it was time to move on with the rest of his life, but I thought, "Oh, he'll be back. They always come back."

He never came back and now I'm saddened.

Upon second thought: since it took a purging of Google Reader subscriptions for me to come to the realization that he was, indeed, really gone, should I have considered myself a fan in the first place? Haha, I'm pathetic. Here's his old blog, if any of you were curious.

Midway through the subscriptions list, I came upon tea-not-war.com -- another favorite. His posts, brimming with snarky comments and anecdotes about his life, were a fun read. He was awesome! Or should I say "bloody brilliant" since the lad hails from the UK? Haha, isn't it obvious how easily amused I am?

But anyway, here's for starting fresh with my subscriptions! Perfect for this time of year when change is imminent -- the start of fall, leaves turning wonderful shades of orange and yellow. Oh, and pumpkin spice lattes?

A resounding "yes."

List.

Things I've learned from the blogs I follow (mainly creative Etsy types):
  • Using the word "vintage" to describe something automatically makes the item in question more appealing.
  • 3/50 all day, everyday.
  • We have Urban Outfitters and the Impossible Project to thank for bringing Polaroids back for a limited time. We can all stock up, be stingy and take ONLY one photo a week for the rest of our lives now. Yay!
  • In addition to Polaroids, photographs taken with a Diana or a Holga make the masses swoon. Don't forget the bokeh effect now, you hear?
  • They're all friends. All of them. It's kind of awesome and I wish I were creative/awesome enough to be grouped in with that bunch. My favorite? The girls on Red Velvet Art.
  • Spend just a few minutes skimming through their art and/or blogs and you will be inspired to crochet a bear beanie with ear flaps, bake red velvet cupcakes for the first time, practice calligraphy. All in all, you'll allow your creative juices to flow freely.
  • Nothing - NOTHING - is better/cuter/more amazing than Happy Tape. I'm still deciding whether or not I should buy a pack. I'm craving them all, to be perfectly honest.
  • The reviews on ReelArtsy will make you want to watch every indie film in existence.

I love lists. Nothing makes me feel more productive than crossing things off a To-Do list, for example. And in a hopefully-not-so-vain attempt at getting back into the swing of things on here, I've resorted to making a list of things I've learned, in this case, from the amazing blogs out there that I am infinitely jealous of.

PS: How cute are these?
Click for source: + + + +

Explanation?

A good friend of mine mentioned that they stumbled across this blog. The stream of consciousness that I poured my heart into for a good six months. (Not really.) After skimming through all of my posts, he said (and I quote) that I have "officially indirectly caused him to reevaluate [his] life."

Uh, what? I didn't know I could affect someone in such a way.

Needless to say, it caused me to read through my posts. I realize I've been neglecting this blog. Truth is, I've been neglecting a lot lately. Because of the lack of motivation or blatant apathy getting the best of me -- I'm really not quite sure. Actually, I recant that previous statement. It's because I'd rather not share my negativity in such a public forum. I never fully got out of that rut I previously wrote about and while I know I should place myself in the mentality that things can only get better from here, I refuse to fall in that mindset until I can tangibly feel a definitive change. I would rather not count my chickens before they hatch, so to speak, because that has the very real possibility of beating me even further down into nothingness, which is a scary thought.

To put this entry simply: Marianne is feeling emo, but she'll blame writer's block for the lack of posts. The end. Fin. Life, you suck. Whoo.

I'm done riding this emotional roller coaster for now and I ever-so-sincerely hope this post finds you well.

Crunkcore.

Disclaimer: It's unlike me to curse, but darn, this just pissed me off.

I recently read a blog where the author very eloquently expressed his views on crunkcore music and its listeners. He explained his dislike of the genre and went on to talk about its lack of cultural merits, complex lyrics and all-around talent. While I would have to agree with his points, I would never dream of verbalizing it the way he did. Don’t get me wrong. I commend him for his…testicular fortitude, if you will, to say what’s on his mind. It’s just that I’ve personally come across people whose music tastes are so boxed off, that they bring every other band and genre down. What’s more, they also bring the morale of the listener down in the process. And honestly, it’s not the best feeling being on the receiving end of one of those rants.

I say eff it. Let them enjoy what music they want to enjoy. Reasons to listen to music range from expression, a connection to the band and other listeners, to quenching the thirst of wanting to be understood by someone other than yourself through lyrics. But all in all, music is mere entertainment. And fuck, if it entertains, so be it. Listen to your music. Enjoy it. Revel in it. But don’t bring others down for their so-called “terrible taste” and allow them the same courtesy of listening to whatever they want to.

Just live in effing musical harmony, dammit.

End of two minute rant. Excuse the expletives, please.

Tumblr.

This new-found obsession with Tumblr cannot be healthy. I realize that it is only a glorified Twitter, of course. But that doesn't stop me from fine-tuning my theme, keeping a lookout for the perfect image and quote to post, and watching my tumblarity fluctuate without any rhyme and reason, it seems like.

It's funny. I delete all of my social networking sites from high school only to sign up for others and thus, killing even more of my precious time.

Sigh, when will I ever learn.

(Insert awesome segue here.)

Owen Pallett covering Joanna Newsom's "Peach Pear Plum."

I'm kind of in love with it. My reason for posting this video in an entry titled "Tumblr" is because I initially planned to post it on there, but felt it was too awesome not to repost on here. Mhmm.

Bikes.


Friends and I went on a casual bike ride recently. You know... the um, pedal kind (notice our nerdy helmets.) All of a sudden, we heard the all too familiar roar of a motorcycle and our friend Jackie decided to grace us with her presence. She showed us up with her bike, without a doubt, but the occasion definitely called for an impromptu photo session.

Hm.

I suppose two months is ample time for a Blogger break, yeah?

Nothing significant has really happened. Tons of little updates, though:
- I signed up for my very first giveaway on Scoutie Girl a few weeks ago. For some reason, I had a really good feeling about it. However I'll admit to feeling a bit skeptical. You know how the saying goes -- don't count your chickens before they hatch? Yeah. But wouldn't you know it, I was actually chosen. My squeals upon receiving the confirmation email were piercing, to say the very least. The necklaces from polarity and uncorked are beautiful and, believe it or not, are even more amazing in person. I haven't stopped wearing one a day, honestly.

I'm currently in the process of finding a perfect Thank You gift to send back. It's the right thing to do, but it's proving very difficult because nothing is either too cute or too thoughtful enough, in my opinion.
- Gasp. I've signed up for a tumblr account. Follow? :]
- Finally finished The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I suppose it was well-written, considering it's a classic, but it wasn't really my cup of tea. Favorite character? Definitely Samwise Gamgee. Aragorn is a very close second.
- Still haven't seen Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Shocking, isn't it? My friends and I had originally planned to go to the midnight showing on opening day, but plans changed. We've planned two more trips, all to no avail. At this point, I wouldn't really mind seeing it by my lonesome. In the meantime, I'm re-reading the series. Happy face.
- Dominic and I met up with Sergio (our old drum coach) and his wife the other evening. I was afraid of the awkwardness that might ensue after such a time apart, but in hindsight, I had absolutely nothing to worry about. Dinner went well. I only hope that Dominic and I never lose touch with him. It was because of Serg that our passion for drumline, and music in general, had a chance to take root in something so tangible. The words of wisdom he bestowed upon us, the techniques he shared and the camaraderie we felt. Good times.

Alrighty. Happy weekend, all! And might I add, it's good to be back.
Well, we'll see. I doubt I'll ever be able to keep up with this on a regular basis... But here's to wishful thinking!

:]

I won't be blogging for a while, but I'll still keep up with Google Reader.
au revoir pour maintenant.

Happy Mothers Day.

Mommy,
Thank you for putting up with my crazy antics all these years. Thank you for being the strong, self-sufficient woman you are. Thank you for allowing me to see that. Thank you for caring and for loving me unconditionally. Thanks for being the best advice-giver, a shoulder to cry on and a friend to laugh with. If I grow up to be half as amazing as you, I wouldn't have any complaints. I love you, times infinity.

mom and sis: my two favorite people in the world.

Soko.

I'm the one for you, you're the one for me.
You love me as much as I do.

Deleted.

[stream of consciousness, exercise one. time allotted: seven minutes.]

I've been caught up in thoughts concerning best friends the past few days. Maybe I'm cursed and the forces in the universe always align perfectly to destroy these friendships at the highest point. Maybe it's fate simply doing what it's meant to. Either way, the pain that resulted from the goodbyes will never be forgotten. I read a Xanga entry on "deleting" people from one's life. The gist of the blog was how she couldn't understand how people find no remorse in deleting others from their life. People that once held such important roles are now forgotten. I'm guilty of acting similarly; I tend to run away from my problems and forgetting about that person/event/whatever just seems like the easiest solution. But I have one issue with this. Bidding farewell to that person and consequently that period of your life, will ultimately delete "you" in the end. Do this enough and you'll completely lose track of how you got to where you are today. As much as I want to think that I "run away from my problems" and that I have no issues with cutting people from my life, that's really not the case at all. How else am I going to see that I've grown up? That decisions I made in the past are ones that I wouldn't dream of making today? I can't. I really can't.

With that said, I wonder if those ex-best friends in my life, no matter how long ago, think of me as much as I seem to think of them. Do they ever regret our falling out to the same degree as I do?

I'd like to believe that certain individuals enter your life for a reason. Either a smile, a shoulder to lean on, or a lesson learned. It's something that should be remembered, no matter what. So, no. I choose to never forget those parts of my past, those people I once held in high regard. Despite the negativity of our falling out, I'd be a fool to try and convince myself that our friendship was solely based on it. We had happy moments. No matter how scarce, we did. Never regret what once made you smile, right?

Sigur Rós.


Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque.

What I would give to be in the presence of such amazing musicians. I love this video. It makes my heart melt each and every time. Oh, and the bass drum at the end with the revolving doors is the proverbial cherry on top.

Memory.

"Are you ready?" She answered with a smile and they were off.

A gentle breeze danced around them as they walked through the bustling city to their destination. They walked in a way that was familiar to them: feet in sync, in a rhythm all their own, two bodies moving side by side but never quite touching. A few times, her hand casually brushed his. She never dared utter an apology, for fear of bringing up something so taboo in their friendship. She curiously wondered if the same thought was playing out in his head. His aversion to her gaze told her it was definitely a possibility and she reveled in that thought.
----------
I found this in my old sketchbook earlier. Wishful thinking? Imagination? But maybe, just maybe, it was grounded in something a bit more tangible.

(icons via justsomeiconssilly)

Disneyland.

The trip to Disneyland and California Adventure was nothing short of amazing. But first, let me take you to the very beginning of the day.

So Best Friend (Dominic) and I were about fifteen minutes away from the resort when he says that we have to take a "quick pit stop" in Norwalk because he's setting me up on a "blind date". Initial reaction: WHAT?! Stress. Worry. Anxiety. But I thought it'd be pretty fun, if not amusing, so I went along with it. From there, we picked up his two friends from school -- Christian and Sylvie. Christian, as a Disney cast member, was able to get us pretty insane hookups the whole day including, but not limited to: free tickets for both parks, 20% discounts on food and merchandise as well as fast passes (read: he knew ride operators. fill in the blanks.) He was too kind, treating us to such an amazing, fun-filled day.

I forgot my camera, but Best Friend and Sylvie had theirs (including a fisheye disposable!) so I'll be waiting on those pictures.

Tower of Terror was our first attraction, which in my opinion, set the bar for the rest of the day. There was a point during a drop when Sylvie wasn't holding onto her backpack too well and it was floating in front of our faces, hahaha. The bellhop played his part so wonderfully, it was adorable; he proceeded to count us (monotonously, Twilight Zone style) after the elevator doors opened to make sure no one had "disappeared". I thoroughly enjoyed Soarin' Over California, the hang glider simulator. I thought it was brilliant how you caught a sniff of oranges as you flew over an orange grove. The breeze hits you at the right moment and you really feel as if you're gliding. Perfection. As a California Adventure first-timer, I must say they have some good things happening in this park, although (in my opinion) it doesn't parallel to Disneyland itself.

What can I say about Disneyland? It truly is the place where dreams come true. I haven't had a chance to visit in about ten years, so it was really nice to be able to feel like a kid again. Luckily, we were able to go on all of the major attractions. One of the most memorable moments occurred during Pirates of the Caribbean when everyone in our boat sang along to "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!". It was too cute. We all had ride preferences and I mentioned that as long as we went on Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blaster and Mad Tea Party, I'd be the happiest girl alive.

Me (with my Minnie Mouse ears!) and Christian. PWNED.

Night time, amazing colors and low shutter speeds made for some crazy cool pictures at the teacup ride. But, pictures are M.I.A. at the moment. I really can't wait til they send those over to me. Oh, another memorable moment: we got stuck on Space Mountain. We weren't in the middle of the ride, but we were already seated. Lights had to come on, ten minutes of waiting, yada yada. Still pretty amusing.

I wonder if you're curious about Christian? He's tall. Like, 6'1" tall. Plays bass in an indie band and was signed during his high school years, has a few tattoos, incredibly smart, such a gentleman. Quite possibly a catch? I guess we'll all have to find out. :] Using his stealthy, ninja-like ways, he got a hold of my phone and put his number in, haha.

Making new friends and spending quality time with Best Friend was pretty awesome. But my ABSOLUTE favorite part about yesterday was our Quest to Find Hidden Mickeys. Well, actually, it was more like, Christian pointing them out to us. During all the rides, he knew where a few of them were located and showed us. I swear, I was like a kid in a candy store, I was so giddy.

Such an amazing day and hopefully I'll get a chance to go again really soon.

Sleepless.

Stars - Set Yourself on Fire.
My favorite song at the moment and it's practically been on repeat the whole night. Yes, the whole night. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep at all, which is probably the catalyst to a dreadful day. But I won't allow it, for I'm spending the day at Disneyland with my best friend -- the place where dreams come true. And dreams can't come true if you're in a crabby mood, right? Right.

Have an awesome day!

Summer.

Well, now, isn't that lovely?
That was sarcasm, by the way. Southern California has officially gone from Winter to Summer. Just last week, we were enjoying beautiful 60-70° temperatures. What's the rush, Summer?

Blurb.

Here's the latest page out of my illustrated journal. I'm having way too much fun with this.

My current obsession is Angel Taylor's "Chai Tea Latte". I am absolutely enamored with her voice! She'll be performing at the El Rey on June 5th and hopefully I'll be able to go.

On a more serious note, I went on a walk with a friend a few weeks ago and our topic of conversation still hasn't found its way out of my head. "What is your purpose in life?" He asked me that and I stammered through a bleak response. I honestly didn't have an answer for it. It's making me feel like such a failure in life, being this close to my twenties and still so unsure of what I'm destined to do. I'm in a rut. A definitive rut until I can get my cluttered mind relatively cleared up and on the right track. Hopefully sooner than later.

So that's life. In the meantime, go watch the new Harry Potter trailer. It'll blow your mind. CLICK.

Smile.

Just think happy thoughts and you'll fly. (via .bradi.)

Happy:
+ this gorgeous 70° degree weather, with blue skies and white, fluffy clouds.
+ finishing a page in my sketchbook and feeling content with the results.
+ a fully-charged iPod.
+ Crumbs cupcakes.
+ seeing "favorite" spelled with an "ou". "Bloody hell!" and Harry Potter marathons go along with this.
+ the oodles of Cute over at meomi.
+ the loft of my dreams.

Lesson.

First and foremost, my internet's back! Sigh of relief, though it wasn't as bad as I would've thought. It allowed for time spent outdoors, as opposed to staring blankly at the computer, wasting life away.

So, I spent the majority of today with my sister. We had an argument, which resulted in her saying some very hurtful things to me -- all over a ridiculous order at Pinkberry, too. I ended up storming off to my favorite spot (the balcony at Barnes and Noble), leaving her alone to get her thoughts straightened out. She knew where to find me and it wasn't long before she pulled up a chair and sat next to me, still clearly angry but eager to get back to talking terms. All of a sudden, I heard a very frantic man scream, "DAD!". I turned around to see what the commotion was all about when I saw an elderly man (that guy's father) having a severe seizure. Everyone on the balcony moved out of the way and helped out with whatever they could. I dialed 9-1-1 and soon, the fire department along with E.M.T. were there. Throughout the whole ordeal, I was relatively calm and collected. It wasn't til afterward when I felt the severity of the whole situation. I looked into my sister's eyes and we just started bawling and apologizing for our stupidity. It's moments like these that you realize how precious life really is. It's a wake up call and it definitely puts things in perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff and don't make a big deal out of something so trivial as Pinkberry. Life's too precious and it could very easily be taken away in a split second.

Dear Lord, I hope he's okay.

:[

Internet's down. I'm updating via sidekick which is a bit difficult, so I'll keep this short and sweet.

I'm alive.

How's that for "short and sweet"? Ha. No, but really, I can't tell you how absolutely thrilled I was when I saw that snippet on m.writes. Thanks to the ones that were so kind as to follow me/leave a comment/visit. Just a word of advice: I'm not the most interesting person on the planet.

Oh! Embarrassing moment of the day (which actually happened yesterday): I was outside of the middle school where I coach drumline, waiting for the final bell to ring so I could make my way inside when I felt something FLY down my shirt. So there I am, frantically trying to find the creature and squealing and jumping all over the place, while a bunch of middle school kids looked on. Completely appalled. I must've looked so ridiculous trying to find that ladybug. See? This is yet another reason why I am such a goober.

Fidelity.

Regina Spektor. Chipmunk. Happy.

m.writes.

A friend directed me to m.writes a few weeks ago and I've been obsessed with it since then. Besides all of the artistic gems, recipes and cute anecdotes of her lovely family, she has also started the very inspirational Write Club. The premise? To get our creative juices flowing using her writing prompts. Ranging from guilty pleasures to describing the best sandwich you have ever had, her prompts give way to things you normally wouldn't consider writing about. It's pretty fun -- simply letting go and allowing the words to flow from Pen to Paper.

TheSkratchPadd has asked me to post my responses. I realize I'm falling far behind, considering the fact that I'm barely on Week 2 and Marta's already posted up Week 4's prompts. But hey, I'll catch up eventually! :]

Here are a few of my responses. My somewhat messy writing, coupled with the resizing's bad quality makes for terrible reading. I apologize for that.

Post-Its.

I wrote out two post-its earlier and left them to their fate in public places.
I placed the first one on the mirror in the women's restroom of Barnes & Noble: "You're beautiful. Always, always remember that." Hopefully this one brightened up someone's day. The second one, I stuck to the door of some random business: "Forget regret."

All on a whim. It was liberating and fun = Happy Face.

Silver Xterras, Santa Monica Pier & Keys.

Ever since I visited my Uncle's internment location a few weeks ago, I've been seeing silver Nissan Xterras everywhere. Not just one or two, I'm taking upwards to 20 per day. This was the car my Uncle used to drive. I mean, either I'm just more observant towards this type of car now or Nissan's holding some kind of BOGO sale. Noticing cars to this multitude has got to be something short of insane. I told Dominic this and he said that it was my Uncle's way of trying to communicate -- a "thank you for visiting" kind of thing. I didn't know what to make of it.

Dominic and I weren't doing anything on Saturday night, so we decided to have an adventure. We thought of LAX because he knows about my looooove for international airports. It's the prime location for people-watching, after all. But we quickly crossed that off our list because the price for parking is ridiculous. We ended up at Santa Monica Pier. I remember being super excited as a kid whenever we went there. But like anything else growing up, you find that things you once loved and were excited for, lose their novelty. We still made the most of it though, spending the majority of our time in the arcade, playing those overpriced games. Then we walked around on the boardwalk itself. It's always scared me how the night sky and the ocean just kind of blend in together and that night wasn't any different. It's just creepy. I mean, could you imagine falling into the water?! But that's beside the point. We reached the end of the boardwalk and just talked as we stared at the ferris wheel and it was just... nice. A bit chilly, but nice.

And now, I'm realizing that spending the evening at the pier is just as costly, if not more, than having an LAX adventure. But it was still fun.

Yesterday was terrible. I locked myself out of the house. Second time in a week. And it was raining. And I forgot my wallet. I could go on and on about my no good, very bad day but that won't make for a very good story.


I underestimated Lady GaGa. She's an amazing musician. She seems kind of drunk crazy, but the good, artistic kind of crazy.

I'm falling off the face of the planet, by the way. Thought you should know, trusty Blogspot.

Currently listening: