[stream of consciousness, exercise one. time allotted: seven minutes.]

I've been caught up in thoughts concerning best friends the past few days. Maybe I'm cursed and the forces in the universe always align perfectly to destroy these friendships at the highest point. Maybe it's fate simply doing what it's meant to. Either way, the pain that resulted from the goodbyes will never be forgotten. I read a Xanga entry on "deleting" people from one's life. The gist of the blog was how she couldn't understand how people find no remorse in deleting others from their life. People that once held such important roles are now forgotten. I'm guilty of acting similarly; I tend to run away from my problems and forgetting about that person/event/whatever just seems like the easiest solution. But I have one issue with this. Bidding farewell to that person and consequently that period of your life, will ultimately delete "you" in the end. Do this enough and you'll completely lose track of how you got to where you are today. As much as I want to think that I "run away from my problems" and that I have no issues with cutting people from my life, that's really not the case at all. How else am I going to see that I've grown up? That decisions I made in the past are ones that I wouldn't dream of making today? I can't. I really can't.

With that said, I wonder if those ex-best friends in my life, no matter how long ago, think of me as much as I seem to think of them. Do they ever regret our falling out to the same degree as I do?

I'd like to believe that certain individuals enter your life for a reason. Either a smile, a shoulder to lean on, or a lesson learned. It's something that should be remembered, no matter what. So, no. I choose to never forget those parts of my past, those people I once held in high regard. Despite the negativity of our falling out, I'd be a fool to try and convince myself that our friendship was solely based on it. We had happy moments. No matter how scarce, we did. Never regret what once made you smile, right?


1 Response to "Deleted."

Jessica said... April 29, 2009 at 10:12 AM

I had a best friend in high school. She became distant and eventually we parted ways. I then found her again and she said some really hateful things. The Lord kept her on my mind after that and I've found her again on Myspace and Facebook but we aren't close at all, more like acquaintances. I don't know why we were supposed to be back in contact but sometimes deleting is helpful.

Lol, did that make sense?

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