I'm kind of ashamed to voice this, but I've been neglecting bible study recently. I've tried, but things haven't really changed much since my CPK & Religion blog a few months ago. I'm still going to Holy Family -- my home parish -- that's never going to change. But I really wanted to give Christianity a shot, along with PYROS and WIN-LA in general. I still feel incredibly awkward whenever I'm with them. I know it's a relationship, a two way street, and that I shouldn't rely on them to make me feel comfortable. I know I have to reach out and make an effort too. I know that. But it's difficult when I'm the newcomer and they have such a tight-knit friendship. I actually sent in a PostSecret email a few weeks ago to some guy out in Kansas and I told him my situation with feeling left out in the church setting and he replied by saying that God is the one you should go to church for. Build up your relationship with Him. Don't put faith in people because they're just going to let you down in the long run, whereas God is forever faithful. He's right. I know he is. But it still wouldn't hurt to feel comfortable.
Whatever. Hopefully circumstances change and I can go to Soul Anchor this summer without my insecurities getting in the way. I've heard nothing but good things about their camp, and I know that it might just be the catalyst to a new found friendship with Him.
2 Chronicles 20:17
“Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”
“Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”
Moving onto music :)
Feel free to skip to the next paragraph. It's somewhat insightful whereas this is complete nonsense.
I'm currently listening to a mix CD I made from junior year. It's perfect rainy day music, in my opinion: Mae, The Postal Service, Johnathan Rice, Iron & Wine, Death Cab for Cutie, Elisa, This Providence. But anyway, "Such Great Heights" by The Postal Service just came on and almost instantaneously, this memory popped into my head: I was out on a night drive with my good friend (incidentally, the one I got suspended -- number 14 of the last post) and we were listening to this CD. Well, this CD was ALL we ever listened to. He practically kidnapped it from me one day and left it in his car for the duration of that year. It was the soundtrack for all our outings: picking me up for school in the mornings, Starbucks adventures, long drives to Santa Clarita Valley for his work, everything. Back to my memory. So he was driving and he started to tell me about his really good friend from the fire academy, Anthony Bettencourt, and how he thought it'd be wise to set us up. I burst out in laughter. I'm not really good with situations like that. He knew that too! So he continued to tell me about him, his hobbies, workmanship, etc. and I was starting to get intrigued. He showed me pictures of him on his phone and boy, was he good looking! Then, he scrolled through his phone book and pushed CALL once he reached his name -- he thought it was that good of an idea. I thought he was kidding until I heard the muffled rings. He picked up and they made plans. Apparently, my friend already told Anthony about me and he was looking forward to meeting me. So, the 16-year-old me was sitting in the passenger seat, absolutely freaking out. All the while, my so-called friend was sitting next to me, completely amused at what he had done and poking fun at me for overreacting. Long story short, I probably listened to the beginning of "Such Great Heights" a bazillion times before we pulled into the parking lot of the Burbank Empire Center. It was the shortest 10 minute ride of my life! Despite the fact that Anthony was extremely polite, the "date" (if you could even call it that...) was pretty much a disaster. But that's a story for another time. Quite possibly never. But anyway, that's what I connect this song to.
Isn't it kind of amazing what listening to a song can do? Music has the power to elicit all these responses and memories whether or not we want it to. And the emergence of mp3 players and iPods, or in this case a CD, just makes these memories all the more accessible. I mean, that memory most likely wouldn't be on my mind right now if I never took out this CD and played that particular song. Sigh. Yet another reason why I love music.
Peace out, girl scout.
ahaha that's definitely a possibility.
ill ask her when i get the chance lol