[stream of consciousness, exercise one. time allotted: seven minutes.]

I've been caught up in thoughts concerning best friends the past few days. Maybe I'm cursed and the forces in the universe always align perfectly to destroy these friendships at the highest point. Maybe it's fate simply doing what it's meant to. Either way, the pain that resulted from the goodbyes will never be forgotten. I read a Xanga entry on "deleting" people from one's life. The gist of the blog was how she couldn't understand how people find no remorse in deleting others from their life. People that once held such important roles are now forgotten. I'm guilty of acting similarly; I tend to run away from my problems and forgetting about that person/event/whatever just seems like the easiest solution. But I have one issue with this. Bidding farewell to that person and consequently that period of your life, will ultimately delete "you" in the end. Do this enough and you'll completely lose track of how you got to where you are today. As much as I want to think that I "run away from my problems" and that I have no issues with cutting people from my life, that's really not the case at all. How else am I going to see that I've grown up? That decisions I made in the past are ones that I wouldn't dream of making today? I can't. I really can't.

With that said, I wonder if those ex-best friends in my life, no matter how long ago, think of me as much as I seem to think of them. Do they ever regret our falling out to the same degree as I do?

I'd like to believe that certain individuals enter your life for a reason. Either a smile, a shoulder to lean on, or a lesson learned. It's something that should be remembered, no matter what. So, no. I choose to never forget those parts of my past, those people I once held in high regard. Despite the negativity of our falling out, I'd be a fool to try and convince myself that our friendship was solely based on it. We had happy moments. No matter how scarce, we did. Never regret what once made you smile, right?

Sigur Rós.

Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque.

What I would give to be in the presence of such amazing musicians. I love this video. It makes my heart melt each and every time. Oh, and the bass drum at the end with the revolving doors is the proverbial cherry on top.


"Are you ready?" She answered with a smile and they were off.

A gentle breeze danced around them as they walked through the bustling city to their destination. They walked in a way that was familiar to them: feet in sync, in a rhythm all their own, two bodies moving side by side but never quite touching. A few times, her hand casually brushed his. She never dared utter an apology, for fear of bringing up something so taboo in their friendship. She curiously wondered if the same thought was playing out in his head. His aversion to her gaze told her it was definitely a possibility and she reveled in that thought.
I found this in my old sketchbook earlier. Wishful thinking? Imagination? But maybe, just maybe, it was grounded in something a bit more tangible.

(icons via justsomeiconssilly)


The trip to Disneyland and California Adventure was nothing short of amazing. But first, let me take you to the very beginning of the day.

So Best Friend (Dominic) and I were about fifteen minutes away from the resort when he says that we have to take a "quick pit stop" in Norwalk because he's setting me up on a "blind date". Initial reaction: WHAT?! Stress. Worry. Anxiety. But I thought it'd be pretty fun, if not amusing, so I went along with it. From there, we picked up his two friends from school -- Christian and Sylvie. Christian, as a Disney cast member, was able to get us pretty insane hookups the whole day including, but not limited to: free tickets for both parks, 20% discounts on food and merchandise as well as fast passes (read: he knew ride operators. fill in the blanks.) He was too kind, treating us to such an amazing, fun-filled day.

I forgot my camera, but Best Friend and Sylvie had theirs (including a fisheye disposable!) so I'll be waiting on those pictures.

Tower of Terror was our first attraction, which in my opinion, set the bar for the rest of the day. There was a point during a drop when Sylvie wasn't holding onto her backpack too well and it was floating in front of our faces, hahaha. The bellhop played his part so wonderfully, it was adorable; he proceeded to count us (monotonously, Twilight Zone style) after the elevator doors opened to make sure no one had "disappeared". I thoroughly enjoyed Soarin' Over California, the hang glider simulator. I thought it was brilliant how you caught a sniff of oranges as you flew over an orange grove. The breeze hits you at the right moment and you really feel as if you're gliding. Perfection. As a California Adventure first-timer, I must say they have some good things happening in this park, although (in my opinion) it doesn't parallel to Disneyland itself.

What can I say about Disneyland? It truly is the place where dreams come true. I haven't had a chance to visit in about ten years, so it was really nice to be able to feel like a kid again. Luckily, we were able to go on all of the major attractions. One of the most memorable moments occurred during Pirates of the Caribbean when everyone in our boat sang along to "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!". It was too cute. We all had ride preferences and I mentioned that as long as we went on Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blaster and Mad Tea Party, I'd be the happiest girl alive.

Me (with my Minnie Mouse ears!) and Christian. PWNED.

Night time, amazing colors and low shutter speeds made for some crazy cool pictures at the teacup ride. But, pictures are M.I.A. at the moment. I really can't wait til they send those over to me. Oh, another memorable moment: we got stuck on Space Mountain. We weren't in the middle of the ride, but we were already seated. Lights had to come on, ten minutes of waiting, yada yada. Still pretty amusing.

I wonder if you're curious about Christian? He's tall. Like, 6'1" tall. Plays bass in an indie band and was signed during his high school years, has a few tattoos, incredibly smart, such a gentleman. Quite possibly a catch? I guess we'll all have to find out. :] Using his stealthy, ninja-like ways, he got a hold of my phone and put his number in, haha.

Making new friends and spending quality time with Best Friend was pretty awesome. But my ABSOLUTE favorite part about yesterday was our Quest to Find Hidden Mickeys. Well, actually, it was more like, Christian pointing them out to us. During all the rides, he knew where a few of them were located and showed us. I swear, I was like a kid in a candy store, I was so giddy.

Such an amazing day and hopefully I'll get a chance to go again really soon.


Stars - Set Yourself on Fire.
My favorite song at the moment and it's practically been on repeat the whole night. Yes, the whole night. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep at all, which is probably the catalyst to a dreadful day. But I won't allow it, for I'm spending the day at Disneyland with my best friend -- the place where dreams come true. And dreams can't come true if you're in a crabby mood, right? Right.

Have an awesome day!


Well, now, isn't that lovely?
That was sarcasm, by the way. Southern California has officially gone from Winter to Summer. Just last week, we were enjoying beautiful 60-70° temperatures. What's the rush, Summer?


Here's the latest page out of my illustrated journal. I'm having way too much fun with this.

My current obsession is Angel Taylor's "Chai Tea Latte". I am absolutely enamored with her voice! She'll be performing at the El Rey on June 5th and hopefully I'll be able to go.

On a more serious note, I went on a walk with a friend a few weeks ago and our topic of conversation still hasn't found its way out of my head. "What is your purpose in life?" He asked me that and I stammered through a bleak response. I honestly didn't have an answer for it. It's making me feel like such a failure in life, being this close to my twenties and still so unsure of what I'm destined to do. I'm in a rut. A definitive rut until I can get my cluttered mind relatively cleared up and on the right track. Hopefully sooner than later.

So that's life. In the meantime, go watch the new Harry Potter trailer. It'll blow your mind. CLICK.


Just think happy thoughts and you'll fly. (via .bradi.)

+ this gorgeous 70° degree weather, with blue skies and white, fluffy clouds.
+ finishing a page in my sketchbook and feeling content with the results.
+ a fully-charged iPod.
+ Crumbs cupcakes.
+ seeing "favorite" spelled with an "ou". "Bloody hell!" and Harry Potter marathons go along with this.
+ the oodles of Cute over at meomi.
+ the loft of my dreams.


First and foremost, my internet's back! Sigh of relief, though it wasn't as bad as I would've thought. It allowed for time spent outdoors, as opposed to staring blankly at the computer, wasting life away.

So, I spent the majority of today with my sister. We had an argument, which resulted in her saying some very hurtful things to me -- all over a ridiculous order at Pinkberry, too. I ended up storming off to my favorite spot (the balcony at Barnes and Noble), leaving her alone to get her thoughts straightened out. She knew where to find me and it wasn't long before she pulled up a chair and sat next to me, still clearly angry but eager to get back to talking terms. All of a sudden, I heard a very frantic man scream, "DAD!". I turned around to see what the commotion was all about when I saw an elderly man (that guy's father) having a severe seizure. Everyone on the balcony moved out of the way and helped out with whatever they could. I dialed 9-1-1 and soon, the fire department along with E.M.T. were there. Throughout the whole ordeal, I was relatively calm and collected. It wasn't til afterward when I felt the severity of the whole situation. I looked into my sister's eyes and we just started bawling and apologizing for our stupidity. It's moments like these that you realize how precious life really is. It's a wake up call and it definitely puts things in perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff and don't make a big deal out of something so trivial as Pinkberry. Life's too precious and it could very easily be taken away in a split second.

Dear Lord, I hope he's okay.


Internet's down. I'm updating via sidekick which is a bit difficult, so I'll keep this short and sweet.

I'm alive.

How's that for "short and sweet"? Ha. No, but really, I can't tell you how absolutely thrilled I was when I saw that snippet on m.writes. Thanks to the ones that were so kind as to follow me/leave a comment/visit. Just a word of advice: I'm not the most interesting person on the planet.

Oh! Embarrassing moment of the day (which actually happened yesterday): I was outside of the middle school where I coach drumline, waiting for the final bell to ring so I could make my way inside when I felt something FLY down my shirt. So there I am, frantically trying to find the creature and squealing and jumping all over the place, while a bunch of middle school kids looked on. Completely appalled. I must've looked so ridiculous trying to find that ladybug. See? This is yet another reason why I am such a goober.


Regina Spektor. Chipmunk. Happy.

Currently listening: