The Hat & Guitar Center.

The Hat -- The boys and I had another artery-clogging, heart-attack-causing adventure yesterday. We ordered our usual: chili cheese fries topped with pastrami and onions, a bag of onion rings and some horchata. Mmmmm, we're fatties. Haha, we have an excuse though! We're 19 and this is the time when our metabolism's the fastest. Might as well live it up ;]

I tried searching for pictures online but none really do it justice.

And people wonder why obesity is such a problem in the United States -___-.

We always joke about that little cardboard tray because it doesn't really serve a purpose. Dig deep enough into the chili cheese fries and you'll find another one. Again, no purpose.

The night ended with something a bit more to my tastes: a random jam session in Guitar Center. We got a room in the acoustic section and just played around for about three hours. They ended up teaching me a few Paramore songs and this song Ben's been working on. I was ecstatic, to say the very least. I love times like this. It allows for chumminess and inside jokes with people I very rarely get to see. AND it allows for me to better my n00b-like guitar skills.

They had the nicest Takamine acoustic guitars!

I'd love an electric bass too. I'll get one one day, just watch. And I'll perfect it.
But maybe that's just wishful thinking :)

HAPPY '09 EVERYONE!

Random.

If you read something someone's written (a yearbook entry, a letter, etc.), do you hear their voice in your head as you read it? Or do you just hear your own?

I had this conversation with Kristy a while back and I've never given it much thought until now. I was on Google Reader, reading through the blogs I'm following and I stumbled on AmazingPhil's Blogspot. I've seen a few of his YouTube videos and I'm in love with his accent. But anyway, I heard his voice as I was reading his blog - accent and all - in my head. Weird.

*shrug* I don't know. I thought I'd share.

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Shhh.

Secret: I find myself constantly wanting to write on public surfaces.

Nothing complex, but hopefully something that'll make people think, even for just that one second.

Somebody somewhere loves you.
I can see right through your lies.

I'm not sure. It depends on my mood. But something like that. I think this would be an awesome way to step outside of the box. Who knows, maybe I'll get over my fear & actually do it one of these days.

Change.

DON'T GO THERE.
You don't have the right to speak to me after everything that happened this past summer.

I deleted your number with the intentions of never talking to you again. I didn't want to risk scrolling through my cell phone, seeing your number and getting swept away by the flood of crazy memories. I also took the precaution of deleting your number from my address book so there was absolutely no way I'd be able to contact you. After all, you were pretty much dead to me.

All of this... and I honestly never thought about what would happen if YOU ever tried contacting ME.

Weeeell, you did. And initially, I had no idea who you were. Your hint: "this is someone you haven't talked to in a while, and this wasn't the first time either". You were the first person that came to mind and I started shaking -- out of anger or confusion, I don't know. I was hesitant at first, but we kept texting and you suggested that we hang out -- a suggestion that I never saw coming and thus, didn't get a response from me until a few hours later. I didn't want to. My head was screaming "NO!" but I eventually gave in. I'm stupid.

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So he and I hung out last Friday. We went back to our spot, overlooking the city. The view hasn't changed. He definitely hasn't changed. But I have and that's all that matters. I'm proud of myself. That's a bridge burned that I absolutely do not regret.

CPK & religion.

I had a wonderful lunch with Joanna and Kelsea today. I mentioned my feelings and doubts about the whole religion thing, which was received with heartfelt advice, saying that what I was experiencing was normal. Joanna mentioned that she saw me SPRINTING at the very start of my walk with God. I went into it full-throttle and eventually started feeling its effects. She carefully explained that that's what it is -- a walk. Not a sprint. Not a 100 meter dash. A walk. And I definitely needed to slow down and take a breather. Kelsea stepped in with advice and said that she thought it was a wise decision on my part to take that 3 week break from it all -- to straighten my thoughts out.

I very rarely talk about my insecurities and paranoia when it comes to new people, but I felt it necessary to do so during lunch today. I said that I'd rather not waste valuable time, giving someone my all, only to have them leave me in the dust in the end. That was how I was feeling with PYROS, the church youth group.

What's that KanYe lyric?
"God show me the way because the devil's trying to break me down."

Yeah, that. These people have never given me a reason for me to show such mistrust. They've been nothing but nice to me. While the group gets somewhat clique-y at times, I'm reminded that they're only human and there's only so much they can do. Anyway. My paranoia stems from previous friendships that have failed me. I gave them something I valued -- my trust. For what? Only to have them leave me. This paranoia has now found its way to my newfound friendships. The devil knows my weakness and he's definitely using it to his advantage. At least I recognize his attempts, right?

Towards the end of lunch, I mentioned that I never once opened my Bible during those three weeks. Joanna said it was okay but that God missed me.

God missed me? God missed me.

That statement hit me like a ton of bricks and I started bawling. What was I thinking trying to run away? God loves me and He only wants the best for me. He sacrificed His one and only Son for me. I deserve wrath from Him. Instead, I receive the most intense love possible. Now that is amazing. I was convicted with those three simple words & I vowed to myself to just keep on keeping on.

Thank the Lord for good food and awesome company. I'm ever so thankful.

Quick update.

FINALS WEEK!
I honestly think that fall semester is always going to be way more stressful than spring semester. Take last year for example -- straight B's. And then spring semester rolled around -- straight A's. And now, I have my very first C. I suck.

There's 2 hours before I have to take my Marine Bio final. I'm borderline at the moment, so I am DESPERATE to get an A on the final to secure my A -- the grade I so rightly deserve. :)

ALL these finals and I've YET to study for the one that really matters. Precalc. My sad C. The final is tomorrow at 7am and I'm freaking out. The professor told me not to give up because I actually have a shot at an A, I just need to score a perfect grade on the final. Pretty impossible. Plus, I have NO time to study today because of my Bio final and aljdsflajdfjalf;

Lord, please help me manage my time and not to get side-tracked. Keep me focused on the task at hand and keep me motivated to do my best.


PS. iTunes shuffle is being good to me :) It's been playing the BEST songs for the past hour, hour and a half and that's rare. Good job, iTunes. Yay for simple pleasures in life.

Hello.

Salut. Ciào. Konnichi wa. Hola. ellohay?

Now that salutations are out of the way, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Marianne & I currently reside in the ever-so-smoggy county of Los Angeles. I'm nearing my twenties yet very much still a kid at heart. Ex-band geek, ex-drumline captain. It's an understatement when I say I miss being a part of anything music-related, hence my sudden interest in the world of acoustic guitar. I am: relatively sheltered, studious, clumsy, easily amused and inspired by all the creativity I'm blessed to witness on a daily basis.

Daughter. Sister. Friend. Observer. Blogger.

I'm unsure as to this blog's longevity, but in the meantime, enjoy the words splattered within. It's really all I have to offer.