Grandma.

It's only fitting that, as I sit here with Notepad open and the vertical line blinking and prompting me to write, Between the Trees' "A Time For Yohe" plays in the background. More specifically, the line in the chorus, gently encouraging me to keep going with this post: "This is your time to weep / This is your time to mourn."

My maternal grandmother passed away last Sunday. I refuse to go into detail about such private matters on a public forum, so I'll only say that the situation is extremely bittersweet. Because it was so sudden, my mom, sister and I were unable to attend the funeral as our passports wouldn't have been renewed in time. What I didn't know was that my sister and I were the last grandchildren she'd had a hand in helping to raise. I haven't seen her since coming to California over fourteen years ago, and I regret it so much. It's become a banal saying in matters such as these, but I truly believe that she's in a better place now. I'm grateful that she doesn't have to suffer anymore.

Haha. I distinctly remember thinking, at the ripe age of five as my grandma helped dress me for school, that she was such a genius for knowing which sock went on which foot. I had thought that there was a specific sock for which foot, much like the right/left certainty of shoes. Favorite memory, hands down.

I miss her a lot, and I can only hope that she's looking down with a full heart and willingness to guide me.