[stream of consciousness, exercise one. time allotted: seven minutes.]
I've been caught up in thoughts concerning best friends the past few days. Maybe I'm cursed and the forces in the universe always align perfectly to destroy these friendships at the highest point. Maybe it's fate simply doing what it's meant to. Either way, the pain that resulted from the goodbyes will never be forgotten. I read a Xanga entry on "deleting" people from one's life. The gist of the blog was how she couldn't understand how people find no remorse in deleting others from their life. People that once held such important roles are now forgotten. I'm guilty of acting similarly; I tend to run away from my problems and forgetting about that person/event/whatever just seems like the easiest solution. But I have one issue with this. Bidding farewell to that person and consequently that period of your life, will ultimately delete "you" in the end. Do this enough and you'll completely lose track of how you got to where you are today. As much as I want to think that I "run away from my problems" and that I have no issues with cutting people from my life, that's really not the case at all. How else am I going to see that I've grown up? That decisions I made in the past are ones that I wouldn't dream of making today? I can't. I really can't.
With that said, I wonder if those ex-best friends in my life, no matter how long ago, think of me as much as I seem to think of them. Do they ever regret our falling out to the same degree as I do?
I'd like to believe that certain individuals enter your life for a reason. Either a smile, a shoulder to lean on, or a lesson learned. It's something that should be remembered, no matter what. So, no. I choose to never forget those parts of my past, those people I once held in high regard. Despite the negativity of our falling out, I'd be a fool to try and convince myself that our friendship was solely based on it. We had happy moments. No matter how scarce, we did. Never regret what once made you smile, right?
Sigur Rós.
Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque.
What I would give to be in the presence of such amazing musicians. I love this video. It makes my heart melt each and every time. Oh, and the bass drum at the end with the revolving doors is the proverbial cherry on top.
Memory.
"Are you ready?" She answered with a smile and they were off.
A gentle breeze danced around them as they walked through the bustling city to their destination. They walked in a way that was familiar to them: feet in sync, in a rhythm all their own, two bodies moving side by side but never quite touching. A few times, her hand casually brushed his. She never dared utter an apology, for fear of bringing up something so taboo in their friendship. She curiously wondered if the same thought was playing out in his head. His aversion to her gaze told her it was definitely a possibility and she reveled in that thought.
A gentle breeze danced around them as they walked through the bustling city to their destination. They walked in a way that was familiar to them: feet in sync, in a rhythm all their own, two bodies moving side by side but never quite touching. A few times, her hand casually brushed his. She never dared utter an apology, for fear of bringing up something so taboo in their friendship. She curiously wondered if the same thought was playing out in his head. His aversion to her gaze told her it was definitely a possibility and she reveled in that thought.
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I found this in my old sketchbook earlier. Wishful thinking? Imagination? But maybe, just maybe, it was grounded in something a bit more tangible.
